"I think it's absolutely necessary to let kids get bored once in awhile-that's how they LEARN to be creative."
The reason for writing this blog tonight is that I'm discovering some parenting issues as my 10 & 12 year olds are getting older. As time goes along, I'm seeing more and more how dependent they have become on electronics and how distracted it has made them. I'm wondering: how do I fight this culture and is it a fight worth having?
I see a lot of memes about "when I was your age, I drank out of hoses, walked to school and rode in the back of my dads truck." Well, I undoubtedly agree that it's awesome to have had a more open minded concept childhood and that it creates for extremely resourceful people but times have certainly changed. There are stipulations, stigmas and laws on everything from babysitting, to spanking, to food with certain products to disciplining.
When I was young, my parents were not my slaves nor my play mates. We had our family moments but we learned to cook, clean, do laundry and entertain ourselves at a young age. We used to ride skateboards outside, play baseball with grapefruits, write plays and perform for our parents, play capture the flag, pretend we were professional gymnasts doing competitions in the grass and play touch football. If you'll notice, none of these things require electronics or "stuff". We didn't have the latest, greatest electronics and yet our childhood was fulfilling, creative and fun. We MADE life happen around us and imagined we were in another world! This is lost on my kids.
In the past years, all of the kids have had all the electronics they could desire (lap tops, tablets, tv's etc), plus toys they asked for, popular items they wanted, board games, game consoles, and outside things such as footballs, baseballs, tennis rackets, trampoline, tetherball, hoola hoops and more. Yet, if we take away their electronics, they linger around like zombies without a thought in their heads. They say, "I'm bored, there's nothing to do," to which I respond, "make up a game, do an obstacle course, build a bird house, make up a dance, do sidewalk chalk, play tag," but nothing clicks. What is happening?
So, the issue I'm having is: how do I give them the delight of electronics but yet keep them on a schedule of using their time to PLAY when they seem to no longer know how to play? How do I encourage having fun when I literally send them outside for two hours and I find that my daughter sat on a bench staring at the sky the whole time or my son took a nap on the garage floor? This is not my idea of healthy excersise or play. This culture is killing their beautiful minds and shutting down their imagination.
Im a very artistic individual and I'm trying to encourage them to paint, draw or create things. They have full access to all of my supplies, my daughter has a sewing machine, a pottery set, and tons of craft supplies to do whatever she wants. My son has nice, designer drawing pencils and Lego's, plus "how to" books on paper airplanes or replica comic art. I just don't understand how they are so dependent, if not addicted to technology, because since they were little, we encouraged all sorts of positive creative or athletic and musical talents they showed interest in.
It genuinely feels that the younger culture is becoming like mindless drones. I don't want to be a crippling parent and cause my kids to rebel. I also don't want to be the lazy and liberal mom who wants electronics to consume them.
So, parents and step-parents, what is YOUR fine line? How do you maintain that they use both their own imaginations and their own passions to find hobbies outside of x-box and social media? Is there a time limit that is reasonable or fasting periods that should take place? Do you let your young kids use electronics strictly on the weekends and during weekdays focus on school, playing outside, family dinner and reading time?
It's really becoming more difficult as the kids get older and other parents just cram "stuff" down their throats. Games, phones & iPads, which I feel is also building up to severe entitlement.
So parents, what do you say when your child comes up to you and declares, "That's not fair! Alex gets to use her phone every night until 10 pm and she's allowed to text during dinner!" Or "why can't I get that video game for Christmas? Everybody my age is getting that game this year!" (Even though it's extremely violent with serious profanity for ELEVEN year olds!)
Thoughts!!?? How do we raise our kids during this time and maintain some normalcy? My husband thinks we need to BUY them more things to entertain them but I whole heartedly disagree with this. They have so much stuff that every 6 months I am taking a car load to Goodwill. They have so much stuff, many Christmas items never even make it out of the boxes and clothing never even gets the tag torn off.
I want to be the best parent I can be and I don't want my kids to be mindless or co-dependent. I want them to be resourceful, creative and know how to survive a day without a phone or video game.
I am all ears, friends!! Chime on in!
I can't believe how quickly and yet how slowly time is going by!
Joe and I went to the doctor today and the bloodwork came back perfect! The next and ALMOST final step is 2 more doctors visits to monitor both blood work and uterine lining growth, and then the egg transfer.
During the egg transfer, they will be putting a catheter in me and transferring one egg. The egg is fertilized and now reached a level of maturity ready for implantation! We have been given a date!
March 16th, 2017! We are so excited.
In the meantime, I will be on medication for 3 more weeks. A thyroid pill, protesterone patches and an additional supplement 3x a day, plus a prenatal.
If things go well, this will be the ONE and we will have our baby in December!
We can only wish for positive, good things and prepare mentally for this exciting event! We will keep everybody posted!
Today was totally an unknown for me. I felt like a fish out of water but surprisingly, totally at peace.
Last night on February 10th, my grand daughter was born. Some of you are probably thinking, "Wait, what? Aren't you in your 20's?". Well, yes. But my husband is in his 40's and this is his daughter. Regardless of age, I'm embracing this opportunity and I already feel like I'm going to be important to this little girl.
For example: When I first met Addi, my 10 year old daughter, she was 3. I never knew the impact I would have on her or how strong our relationship would become. But now I can't imagine life without her and I feel like God pre-destined us to be together. I feel something special like this with my new grand daughter.
People say blood is thicker than water. I don't believe that. Alyssa and her dad, my husband, are not biologically related and yet every single time there is something going on in her life, she calls. She wants him, needs him and hopes for him to be there when she falls or when something unfortunate happens and like a good soldier, he is there.
My family is made up of so many blended components and I have learned one thing: it's about the people who invest in you and accept you, not those who are biologically related to you.
I recently had an issue with someone who is 100% biologically related to me and it was a very unfortunate incident. However, it did humble me. It reminded me that family is what you make of it and who believes in you-not the blood running through your veins. The fact is that this person and I have nothing in common and frankly, forcing a relationship isn't healthy for either one of us.
So I hope that my instinct is right on this and the point of this blog is to say to all the step parents out there: don't undermine your worth or lose heart because redemption may be closer than you think! You may be more impacting and special than you even realize. Your touch and your heart may be exactly what the world needs at this time, though you may not see it!
I hope this baby and I will be close, and that my step daughter can trust me to be kind and honorable and that my obvious love will exceed all barriers. Love is not blood deep!
As I continue on my IVF journey (which btw, is going amazingly and on Monday I start a new string of medications whilst my embryos have become blastocysts and are being incubated), I hope to spend as much time showing love to my new baby girl and step daughter. I think it will be a time to bond and learn one another, as she will be transforming throughout this journey.
Wish me well, as my new injections begin and my ultrasounds/bloodwork continue! All we are waiting for now is my uterine lining to thicken and for my progesterone to reach a certain level. Then...
The only thing stronger than fear is hope!
Today was the big retrieval day! The doctor was very happy with the collection and am I!
7 healthy, viable eggs and now they're meeting up with Joe's "specimen" in a lab!
They will fertilize for 5 days and then being frozen for future reserve. The projected date of embryo transfer is in approximately 2 weeks, once I get my cycle.
We decided not to pick the gender. For one thing, it would have been an extra 5 K and it would complicate the transfer. So we are just going to have the doctor pick the healthiest embryo.
As far as the actual surgery today, the aftermath is actually sharper pains than the first time. I assume that it's because a needle was put high up in the ovaries to extract the eggs.
Theyre going to call me tomorrow to see how many eggs were specifically fertilized. 😊
No more shots, either.
With the divorce rate at 50%, that means many blended marriages and "step" children to follow..Someone needs to voice this! It's tough! Nitty gritty! Hardcore and without exception of blame! This blog is to not just inform but solidify how difficult, awkward and how severe the power struggle can be as a "step-parent"