"When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just remember the view from the top!"
This week I lost my brother for unknown reasons. In the last year he had lost a lot of weight but it has been undetermined what happened to his 32 year old body. He was found in his bedroom, lying peacefully in bed but had been extremely sick that day.
There are so many ways that grief can affect everyone individually and a lot of things that can cause you to go in the wrong direction to fill the void: alcohol, drugs, gambling, unhealthy addictions and I've decided to honor him by joining a special program who have endured trauma and loss in their lives.
Not only have things happened in my childhood but as you know, I lost three babies last year. I can honestly say that I never truly overcame that grief and I won't be able to live my life to the fullest until I do. Meaning: dig deep and rip off the bandaid.
Life has so many hardships and can be so painful. It's how we become closer, or how we can grow apart. In the past I have retreated out of fear of feeling my feelings, but I believe that the best way I can honor my brother in this situation is to face it all and get that release. To get my fearless heart back!
Therapy is not for the weak! It takes a strong individual to say: "you know what? This is no longer going to own my life and I will no longer retreat. It's time to stand up and stand strong. It's time to cry and let it go. No pride. No ego. No performing. Just FEEL." Whoever said you have to be perfect and go through life's motions is a fool. Wounds need licking.
To honor my brother, I am going to make this pregnancy about freedom, love without strings and my health. My heart will be healthy, my baby will be healthy and I will teach my kids that the strongest people are the ones who don't run from their pain, but those who persevere.
For anyone wounded or haven't dealt with their grief, there are so many resources. Sometimes it takes a wake up call like my brothers death to realize how precious life it. My baby will be a living example of that.
RIP Jordan and thank you for inspiring me to be a better family member and to appreciate my life. I'll be giving my kids and extra kiss EVERY DAY.
With the divorce rate at 50%, that means many blended marriages and "step" children to follow..Someone needs to voice this! It's tough! Nitty gritty! Hardcore and without exception of blame! This blog is to not just inform but solidify how difficult, awkward and how severe the power struggle can be as a "step-parent"